✱     dove    is nomadic by nature. has been since he was 16 years old. the only thing substantial that he owns is a car. none of this has ever presented as an issue for him. he always finds a way to have a roof over his head if he wants one. be it from couch surfing, temporarily staying with whoever he's seeing, extended stays at hotels / inns, or less conventional means ⁽ phrogging or squatting ⁾.

✱     his     primary source of stability is definitely people that are romantically or sexually attracted to him. sometimes they're around his age, sometimes they're older by a few years, but more often than not they're way older and on the verge of some burgeoning midlife crisis. and dove? he's the pretty boy that lavishes in his role as their toy allowing himself to be a kept man. at least for awhile. to them he's their boyfriend, partner, (in)significant other, lover, whatever they want to label him and to him they're a means to an end. he likes them well enough and he plays his part exceptionally well but when he's done he slips out of their lives like a thief in the night.

✱     always     plays with his food. engages in an unknowing game of predator versus prey / cat and mouse with anyone unlucky enough to catch his attention. follows them for an indeterminate amount of time taking photos and videos of them from a safe distance. during this time they're all that occupies his mind right up until the moment of their demise. chooses a flower or plant they remind him of and when he buries what remains he plants it on top to serve as a marker.

✱     because     of his urges he tries not to become romantically involved with anyone, particularly because his desire to consume is heightened by feelings of passion. he's not even remotely successful at this especially considering how easily infatuated he becomes with people. even from just a glance.

✱     currently     he's working as a photographer of sorts. getting paid to do something almost similar to that of a private investigator except he doesn't have to do any of the hard work. his clients ask him to follow certain people and snap photos of them for whatever reason. if he cares enough he'll ask. and sometimes they share. but typically he doesn't have any of the details just creates a collection of photos. his clients are mostly people with money to blow and the list grows through word of mouth.

✱     periodically     contacts his parents. for the first few years he didn't. the wound was still too raw. too fresh. but now he can reach out and not feel hatred for them. understands that they were just doing what they thought was right even if it was hurting him and creating a complex within him. when he calls he and his father talk like they've never missed a beat and his mother begs him to come back home. sometimes he lets her pray for him even though he hates it. they would do anything for him and welcome him with open arms on the rare occasions that he visits.

✱     since     he consumes fairly consistently he can go maybe a few months before the hunger starts to feel like a physical ache ⁽ though he rarely lets it get that bad ⁾. despite not needing it there's hardly a moment that goes by where he isn't thinking about it. has adopted an incredibly morbid sense of humor as a way to be able to talk about it without revealing anything outright. in the interim while obsessing he can sometimes get carried away in moments of passion and has bit tongues, shoulders, arms, legs, necks, you name it, to the point of breaking skin. as a substitute for it he tends to eat lots of raw food ⁽ yukhoe -- beef tartare, mett -- minced raw pork, torisashi -- chicken sashimi, etc ⁾.

✱     has     a ball python named melona. yes, after the ice cream bars because she's a leucistic ⁽ all white but not albino ⁾ python and reminds him of coconut flavored melona. she stays with a friend of his most of the time but whenever he has his brief stints of stability he always brings her to wherever it is he's staying.

✱     his     name is only evangel dove because his mother thought she was having a girl. the doctor even told her as much. but when he came out she simply changed the first name from evangeline to evangel and kept everything else the same. hence why his name is so soft.

✱     for     the first three years after he left home he traveled loads and stayed in places very briefly. still travels often due entirely to his nature but he spends longer stretches in places than before. if he stays anywhere too long though he starts to feel suffocated or like he's being shackled. likes stability but can only stomach it for so long.

✱     big     into nightlife and the party scene but mostly because it allows him to freely indulge in plying himself with substances. his latest obsession is mdma. loves how wired and alive it makes him feel even if the lows that accompany it can be intense. in the moment it always feels worth it.

✱     still     lives with the shame his mother instilled in him. he doesn't fight against his nature but after he gives in to it he always has lingering thoughts of disgust and self-loathing. thinks about his victims and the lives they had, the lives he watched them lead and sometimes this makes him spiral. at his lowest he recites the prayers from psalm but they only make him feel worse. often wonders if his story will end with him being put down like a feral dog or if he'll go back to being a bird with clipped wings living in a gilded cage where the outside world is safe from him.

✱

dove. 23. cis male. hehim. coasting by without direction. perpetually and purposely nomadic in body, head, and heart. an endless study in nature vs. nurture. with a grotesque and unsettling appetite.

✱     a dove with broken wings.

✱     𝟎𝟎𝟏.         committed his first act of cannibalism at the age of three years old. mauled his au pair, a young girl from the french countryside who had come to stay with his family and with whom dove had grown exceptionally close. he was found hours after the incident curled up by her side and covered in the gore by his mother and father. it was in that moment that his mother came clean to her husband explaining that this pathology was unfortunately something that seemed to be passed down in her family. sometimes it skipped a generation but it was always passed down eventually and that she feared she may have passed it on to dove directly. his father struggles with wrapping his head around this newfound reality but vows to love dove regardless of what lay beyond his control.

✱    𝟎𝟎𝟐.         his mother, understanding his struggle intimately, does her best to teach dove how to curb his appetite. instills in him a great deal of shame around what he is and these unnatural cravings in the hope that he will understand it isn't okay. despite this dove continues to remark about missing the taste of human flesh. he is always reprimanded the hardest in these moments as that line of thinking was a slippery slope. rarely do they leave their home, his parents holding on too tight, but eventually when they begin to it's only to attend church services every sunday. his mother hopes that the word of god will help him in the same way it has helped her.

✱     𝟎𝟎𝟑.         as he grows his cravings grow with him and at thirteen he manages to convince his family's chauffeur to take him for a drive. winds up attempting to consume flesh, the desire for it overwhelming him. once he realizes what he's done and the scene he's caused he's immediately carted back home. this is when the rules are set in place. 1. under no circumstance was he to consume human flesh. up until this point there had been one or two rare occasions where his mother had felt benevolent. 2. no leaving the house unaccompanied. it wasn't as though he'd been allowed to before but after this incident even something as innocent as a dip in the pool was monitored. 3. any time he felt the urge to consume he was to recite psalm 51:1-19 asking for god's forgiveness. 4. he had to resume attending church every sunday. no exceptions. 5. he could have no form of privacy. no lock on his door, internet access was monitored, child safety locks installed on his bedroom window, etc. they just couldn't trust that he wouldn't try something.

✱     𝟎𝟎𝟒.         reaches his breaking point with his parents and their treatment of him. understands that he isn't the easiest child to deal with, that there's something fundamentally broken within him, but he can't stomach being treated like a feral beast that needed to be muzzled and hidden from view. runs away at age sixteen with nothing but the clothes on his back and the desire for true freedom in his heart. from sixteen to present he has been on his own. had to learn how to sink or swim.

in spite of his nature dove is not nearly as angsty as his life should suggest. he has his moments but more often than not he tries not to take life too seriously. and the way he lives his life is proof of that. you'll wonder what the fuck is wrong with him but not in a way that truly calls for concern. he's a walking contradiction and a host of imperfections and he wouldn't have it any other way.

✱

❛    THE BF EXP.

one of the many people who he has had a mutually beneficial relationship with. to him it was purely transactional. they provided him with a place to stay, bankrolled his life for a short while, and cared for him and he took care of their needs in terms of affection, companionship, and carnality. to them it was a relationship and he rarely let them think any differently even if that's not how he personally viewed things.

❛    STALKERAZZI

this could go one of two ways. either your muse has heard about his "services" through the grapevine and want to hire him to follow someone. maybe they've even hired him before and they have a working relationship. or your muse could be someone he's getting paid to follow. usually he's very good about being discreet but there are the rare times that he slips up and either gets found out or directly interacts with the subject. lots of possibilities.

❛ SOCIAL BUTTERFLY

for someone who was severely unsocialized as a kid he sure makes friends easily enough. you would think nearly 16 years of isolation would make him socially awkward but he's able to fall in step with nearly anyone. his lack of socialization skills also tend to lead to him having issues with boundaries and issues picking up on social cues which thus far hasn't worked against him. rather it allows him to not have a sense of shame around putting himself out there even if it results in rejection. has made a number of friends in interesting ways thanks to his eccentricity.

❛  CONFIDANTE

someone who knows the truth but only bc they caught him with his face and hands covered in drying blood, shirt soaked so deeply with the carnage that burgundy bled nearly into black. is his initial thought to kill them? ofc it is. but he isn't a murderer. okay, he is. but he doesn't kill them. mostly bc they don't seem to be scared. so maybe he just... gets to be the truest version of himself with them. a very unlikely friendship.

❛    TEMP ROOMIE

when he doesn't have a place to lay his head for the night (bc he never really does?) or he isn't leeching off of some poor unsuspecting cougar and temporarily occupying her home he might find himself on their couch instead. sometimes there's a text, sometimes he just shows up, but more often than not he sneaks in the request when they're already hanging out. tries not to wear out his welcome.

❛    HELLO, YOU...

a bit similar to stalkerazzi except maybe more terrifying? bc he isn't even getting paid to follow them. does it purely for the love of the game. how they meet can be discussed but it's normally something inconsequential. something that wouldn't catch the average person's attention but that captivates dove. becomes infatuated with them and watches from a distance. doesn't want to get close bc ultimately he plans to make them his next meal. but things don't always go as planned, do they?

❛    OLD FLAME

this one is for former relationships or situationships. you put yourself in a very unique situation when you're both the object of dove's affections and the person who is currently closest to him. he was always on the brink of doing something he'd regret whenever he was around them because love for him toes the line of consumption. to be in love or near it is to be consumed even if it is just by passion. despite caring a great deal he's hot and cold when he's in a relationship. pulls away when he wants to lean in. and when he does lean in sometimes his love has teeth. your muse would know.

❛    MIRRORED URGES

this is purely self indulgent so it has no real summary just a stream of consciousness but like haha any other cannibal muses? any? any other ocs inspired by bones and all? the silence of the lambs? hannibal? fresh? sweeney todd? any maren yearlys? any lees? any at all? no? yes? maybe? possibly? please bro... i'm literally begging.

relationships,

relationships,